Daw Aung San Su Kyi

The birthday greetings are all over the web. I have not spoken to her or met her - yet I along with many others wish her a great life. I lived in Burma and she embodies the soul of that country. The hope of tomorrow and the will to be a better place is viewed through her. The giving of one's self for the good of others in our community is truly a bond and a combination of discipline.

There is no fear of seperation but a spirituality of deep understanding of what is needed. That is why this woman of courage stands for what counts in a world that does not listen well, a world that most often seen via the lens of violence. For this reason among others it is good to celebrate the birth of Daw Aung San Su Kyi. Happy Birthday.

Family - do we need this unit?

Life has a way of making one realize that family is so important. The rituals we learn growing up helps solidify the feelings, good or bad, that we have towards relatives and other attachments.
 

In our family we love to talk and celebrate the holidays. Sunday was fun at my parents home. Family dropped in and everyone talked and laughed. Then we all left for different places around the world, and the Sundays were no more. Memories? yes. Face to face - this became rare.

Skype does add to the connectedness but really it is difficult to feel that togetherness that comes from the Living room and of course the Dinning room. There was Uncle Barney with his 3 fingers of Rum. A sweet man but did he love to have his little drink. No one moralized about his drinking. Acceptance is the word. In a healthy family, the fights, the love and yes the acceptance brings with it understanding of who you - no I meant - we are. Christmas, birthdays, New Years and any holiday was taken for granted in the extended family celebrations and now it is Face book that connects us on holidays. Who tells the stories that we heard as children - the history of the family- to the next generation? Can't do this on Face book. She asked me -Are you my cousin? I said ye. We connected but did we? Connected in some ways but the disconnect is there. I do not really know who she is only her face book identity. And oh, I could tell her so much about her Great Gran Mother, the matriarch of the clan. There is no face to face space for this to happen.

The world is not that small to handle the wars, the unrest and the lack of job security that forces families to move in different directions. We sometimes do not meet for years on end - sometimes never. Yes, we make new circles of connectiveness with other wonderful humans. But the history is different and the history is short. It is the stories told over and over again that has been lost. U-tube does not capture this either. Am I advocating the return to the home and the Sunday dinners where one would sit and talk? Or the Sabbath meals where religion helped bring together families and a place to socialize.  Perhaps, but would it work today or would our blackberries go off or text us as we ate together.

Rituals did make a difference in how we connected - we visited each other on holidays and on weekends. Now, we shop till we drop on those long weekends and catch up on all the things we need to do. Do I really want to do Easter?? I have no time, and then the washing up. I need to chill please. Connecting can come later, much later. Let me forget these holidays as they mean work.

Our mothers are not around, the keepers of the holidays and the history. Where do we fit? and how do we fit in this busy world of the I - there is indeed family as our reference group.